You Know You’re Swiss If… (Part 2)

You know you're Swiss if

While hanging out at the lake the other day, we thought it would be a good time to reflect on our first year back in Switzerland. So we consolidated our observations and came up with the sequel to our series of sure-fire ways to know whether you are Swiss!

 

Food: You know you’re Swiss if...

- you get frustrated when you go abroad and find that stores do not carry at least 10 different kinds of Swiss chocolate and 15 kinds of Swiss cheese.

- you know what "Röschti" is (and have crossed the "Röschtigrabe" at some point).

- you were legally allowed to drink beer and wine at the age of sixteen.

- you prefer "Elmer Citro" rather than "Sprite".

- you own a Soda Club machine.

- you have ever prepared a dish based on a Betty Bossi recipe.

- you are not surprised when the grocery clerk greets you by name.

You know you're Swiss if
 

Geography: You know you’re Swiss if...

- you have ever been confused with a Swede.

- you have ever been asked - upon stating your nationality - whether you live in the mountains and whether you can yodel.

- you think that driving somewhere for four hours is a hell of a long time.

 

Language: You know you’re Swiss if...

- you are fluent in at least three languages and think it is completely normal.

- you routinely have to explain that “Swiss” is not a language.

- you get amused when you see Swiss German people being subtitled on German television.

- you think it is normal to have six different public television channels in three different languages.

- you can not only pronounce "Chuchichäschtli" but also know what it means!

- you get embarrassed when you run into other Swiss tourists abroad who converse in Swiss German.

You know you're Swiss if
 

Politics: You know you’re Swiss if...

- you have ever been asked who the president of Switzerland is and then failed miserably trying to explain why you have lost track…

- you have ever been asked by your non-Swiss friends to intervene in a fight and used "Hey, I'm Swiss!" as an excuse not to.

- when asked to explain how certain things work in Switzerland, you commonly use the phrase "it differs from canton to canton..."


 

Sports: You know you’re Swiss if...

- you went to a state-funded ski camp every year with your classmates in high school.

- skis are like extensions of your feet, because you have learned to ski before you learned to walk!

- you think cow-trekking is as normal a sport as giant sledge racing.

You know you're Swiss if
 

Miscellaneous: You know you’re definitively Swiss if...

- you used to walk to kindergarten without supervision, wearing a triangular orange reflection band around your neck.

- you grew up believing all cows must wear bells (and still believe so).

- you owned a Swatch growing up... or still do!

- you grab an umbrella whenever you leave your house.

- you think showcasing your collection of garden gnomes is a way of making friends.

- you have visited Lucerne's Lion Monument but have no clue what it stands for.

- no matter how much of a "bad-ass" you think you are, you will still pick up your candy wrapper off the floor if an old lady asks you to!

Do you feel like we have just described your very personality? Or did we miss any crucial signs that you are Swiss?

(Inspired by Sanbra)

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Dimitri

As the founder, editor and community manager of Newly Swissed, Dimitri owns the strategic vision. He is passionate about storytelling and is a member of the Swiss Travelwriters Club.

Dimitri loves discovering new trends and covers architecture, design, start-ups and tourism.
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  • Interesting post. This is really a good posts.

    • Thanks for your feedback! Anything that surprised you?

  • Ylz

    Dimi, you missed one point: Going to the grocery or bakery abroad and missing ‘real’ bread.

  • I’ve been here in Switzerland for exactly one year today, and I couldn’t agree more about all this! I got exactly the same impression and was especially surprised by the children walking alone with that funny reflection band!

    Denise

  • beth hahn

    hey – I had a swatch growing up – it even had a swatch guard! Does that make me honorary Swiss?

    • You’re on the way… Let’s see: Can you yodel?

  • Moonchild

    OMG, I love this! = D

  • Moonchild

    You know you’re Swiss if …
    … you get a cow bell with personalized embroidery on the leather strap … as a wedding gift!

  • Stefanie

    I just stumbled across this blog … awesome, a lot of funny and absolutely true facts assembled! I’m Swiss through and through (familiar with most of the items above) but I’ve lived in Scotland for a while, so there are a few things to add to your lists:

    food: You know you’re Swiss…
    …when you search for fresh yeast in a British supermarket (to make this kind of plaited bread known as “Züpfe”) and can’t find any.
    …when you miss “real” bread with a crust more than chocolate when being abroad.
    …when you explain that “Emmental” is actually a region with a river called “Emme”.
    …you try to find white eggs in a British supermarket to dye them with onion skins for easter and you find only brown ones.

    politics: You know you’re Swiss…
    …when you need at least an hour and two pints to explain the political system in Switzerland to your foreign friends. (Provided you understand it yourself.)

    geography: You know you’re Swiss…
    …when you don’t think you need a compass and an appropriate map to survive when you go hiking, which is one of your favourite sports anyway.
    …when you constantly feel like on holidays only because you can see the sea from your kitchen window.

    language: You know you’re Swiss…
    …when you are mistaken as being French just because your accent in English doesn’t sound “German”.

  • Stefanie

    You know you are (Swiss) German speaking, if…
    … you confuse “if” and “when” all the time although you should know the difference.

  • You know you’re Swiss is you confuse ‘get’, ‘have’ and ‘become’, and say things like

    I ‘become’ a headache

    • @Stefanie and Denise: Thanks for the great additions to this list! I have heard things like “I became a gift from my friend” many times before… Any by the way, you can say you to me!

  • Moonchild

    You know you’re Swiss if…
    someone claims something is “the greatest thing since sliced bread,” and you wonder if that’s supposed to be a good thing.

  • simona

    thank you,
    you know you’re Swiss if… you think is normal that your guests help with dishwashing and cleaning at the end of the party…

    • Hi Simona! How true about the Swiss understanding of what an afterparty is all about 😉

  • Moonchild

    You know you’re Swiss if . . .
    you greet someone by name, even though you’ve only met them once at a party 10 years ago.

  • Just stumbled upon this post, it’s a great one Dimitri! Thanks for making me laugh 🙂

    • admin

      I love it when readers “stumble” across articles! It shows that you are engaging with the site 🙂

  • Leeds_girl

    Hahaha, that me me laugh so hard! Thanks for sharing!

    I have a few additions (sorry for the mess…)

    You know you’re Swiss if…
    …you enjoy shopping in about every foreign city because, omg, it’s so cheap!
    …you’ve ever been asked why you don’t have blond hair
    …you’ve been asked where you keep your gold at home (because, of course, every Swiss has heaps of gold hidden under their mattress)
    …you have at least one Swiss Army Knife and use it frequently, e.g. to cut an apple during coffee break at uni
    …your dad/uncle/cousin/boyfriend/male friends have assault riffles at home and you think that’s completely normal
    …you know several completely normal people doing shooting as a sport
    …you don’t find it weird to not have taxes deducted from your salary every month but to receive at tax bill at the end of the year (which, of course, you will pay)
    …you fail to name a Swiss person who is known worldwide
    …you laugh at the sight of cuckoo clocks in Swiss tourist shops because you know they are not Swiss
    …you have ever replied to the question “so, are you European?” with a no

    Again, thanks for making my day Dimitri!

  • Osana

    You know you’re Swiss when…
    You like Rivella and like even more disgusting foreign friends by telling them that it is partially made with milk.
    You know you’re Swiss (German) when…
    You have eaten bread covered with butter or quark and with Cenovis during your whole childhood.
    You know you’re Swiss German when…
    You say “Hello together” instead of “Hello everybody” as a litteral translation of “Hoy zäme” (Hoy zusammen)

    • Dimitri Burkhard

      Thanks for sharing these! You are so right about Rivella’s formula: The Swiss will always point out the milk part!