Newly Swissed Online Magazine

Disappointed Swiss Olympic Committee Requests New Sports

Switzerland New Olympic Disciplines

The Swiss are not happy with their Olympic performance in the summer games. The team expected as many as seven medals, but received only four. Even World's Nicest Guy Roger Federer only got a silver, despite being able to play championship tennis in three languages.

In the wake of this disappointing medal count, the Swiss Olympic Committee has already submitted several new sports they want introduced to the 2016 summer games in Brazil:

100-meter Fondue-Stirring Hurdles

Secret Bank Account Badminton

Freestyle Watch-Making Marathon

Swiss Army Knife Fencing

Chocolate-Covered Floor Exercise

Uneven Bars Yodeling

Crossbow-Apple Father/Son Team Archery

The International Olympic Committee has not yet responded officially, but a source close to the committee commented that "Anything is possible with the support of the Swiss franc."

Bill Harby

An award-winning freelance writer, editor and photographer based in Neuchâtel and Volcano, Hawai‘i, Bill is frequently called upon to be "funny." His stories have garnered him a select coterie of loyal readers and legions of others who couldn't care less. For more of Bill’s work:

1 comment

  • Hmm, strange contribution. I must admit, either, I am a really dump and humourless person, though I very much appreciate British kind of humour, or I just do not understand what are the author’s resentment sources so he has to make this kind of contribution. I would not even expect such kind of bad humour by a SVP-Stammtisch (~ Swiss People Party-“regulars’ table”).

    BTW: Regarding per capita achievements, regardless Switzerland’s rather below avarage olympic perfomance this year, its performance was still way better than the one of USA, China, or Germany for example. And if you do not count all the foreigners (~23%) these figures get even better! ;-))

Bill Harby

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