When it comes to settling in Switzerland, there are as many different experiences as there are people.
Each story is unique, including mine: My first days here were spent working in a Swiss bar in a small mountain village in the Bernese Oberland.
Not knowing some of the strange customs, let alone having heard Swiss German before, my first weeks in Switzerland were shaped by more than one funny moment… Can you imagine a Latvian trying to hustle a local Swiss bar from behind the counter?
Welcome to my collection of curiosities and misunderstandings!
"E Stange, bitte."
Why is he asking me for a rod? I am working at a bar, not at IKEA. And what in the world is a Herrgöttli?
"Eis Bier, gärn."
An ice beer? Always those special requests...
"Es Glas Wiisse, gärn."
Ok, I get it. It’s something white, but what exactly is it that they want?
"Es Ballönli, bitte!"
Sorry, we don’t sell balloons here. (This is how some elderly Berners order a 1 deciliter glass of white wine.)
Note to self: Suuri Zunge at a bar is not a pack of sour candy!
Customers decide whether or not they like you from your facial expression when you ex a shot of Appenzeller.
The combination of hammer, nails and getting drunk does not scare the Swiss. The game Stump has been (and will be) here for good.
s'Röteli is not the same as s'Roote (unless you want to serve liquor instead of wine).
It's fun to start shouting "Nei, nei, nei" when they’re saying "Prooost"!
How to piss off someone from Valais? Tell them that other regions of Switzerland make good wines, too.
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Me: "Why are we placing these guests in the corner?" Colleague: "They're having cheese fondue..."
One can't imagine an après-ski in Switzerland without a Kafi Luz!
A normal sight on New Year’s Eve: A group of men in traditional costumes walk into the bar while ringing huge cowbells, just to kill a bottle of beer in five minutes and continue to the next bar...
I remember a workmate asking: “Do we have a white wine called ‘Ballon’?”